I have a date tonight, he's picking me up in 30 minutes, and I'm starting to feel nauseous.
But in a good, butterflies-in-my-stomach excited kind of way.
To be continued.....
I'm not expecting a response from him. It felt good to get my feelings out on paper and I wanted him to know that even though we only dated for a brief period of time that it was a big deal to me. It probably sounds silly to most people, but I don't get out much and it took a lot for me to try dating again. I'm really disappointed that he couldn't find the time for me.
( The LetterCollapse )
I was worried after my appointment with the rheumatologist 2 weeks ago when she increased my prednisone AND my Cellcept because she was worried about the high count of WBC's in my urine. Now my Cellcept is one small pill away from the maximum dose, so that scared me.
At my appointment today my doctor said he looked at my bloodwork, it looked good and stable, and I interrupted him and said that Dr. N increased my prednisone last time and he looked confused. I explained her concern about the WBC's, and he just shook his head and disagreed. He said it wasn't a good indicator of inflammation in general for me because the kidney stones can cause the WBC's to appear. I have always had the WBC's, and I will always have some kidney stones. He said the only way to find out what's really going on in my kidneys is to wean off the prednisone and do another biopsy. He said it's risky and it's not something he likes to do unless he has to, so he would talk to the rheumy about what the plan should be for me.
I know I would looooooove to get off the pred completely and never go back on it.
He finally did another ultrasound, he's been saying "next time" for the last year. He said the calcifications didn't appear to be as extensive as they were when we first met, but again they would never go away completely. He still has not gotten a warmer for the ultrasound gel. Tsk. My kidney size is good, they haven't shrunk noticeably yet as they can as disease progresses.
He reiterated that if I hadn't been treated when I was that I would be on dialysis right now. Scary.
After our hike on Sunday I was really cold when I got home. I changed into dry clothes, climbed into bed to warm up, and fell asleep. Nothing has felt right since.
Work this week has been crazy, I'm drowning in paper, emails, phone calls. Completely overwhelmed. I called Hickory Monday night and left a voicemail, and he didn't call back like he usually does. I started to feel worse. I stayed up late completing assignments for school, putting me in a worse mood. I was on the verge of tears all day Wednesday. Even getting 100% on a tax research memo I had worked really hard on didn't make me feel better.
Hickory called tonight while I was driving home, and said he was afraid my week wasn't going to get any better. He was really sorry, and he should've given it more thought before he even joined eHarmony. But he doesn't have the time to commit to a relationship right now, and it wouldn't be fair to me to continue. I waited until we hung up to start sobbing. My mom started sobbing too when I told her.
I feel really awful right now. My insides hurt.
Third date was Friday night, I drove to his house and we left from there for dinner at First & Last Tavern in Hartford. We met a little after 7 so we hoped we'd miss the big dinner rush. He drove the company "Exploder" this time because he had a trailer hitched to his truck with a skid steer on it for Saturday's barn/driveway project. It was nice being able to get in and out without superhuman-sized steps, and I was a little more lady-like as a result. I had traded my heeled boots for flats to make climbing in and out of the truck easier, so in the end they just made me even shorter in comparison with him (5'7" vs. 6'4'!)
When we got to the restaurant there were 2 large parties that took up most of the tables in the dining room, so we had to wait a while to get a booth. It wasn't too bad because it made the date longer, right? We each had a Guinness while we munched on yummy, fresh bread. We shared a bacon & onion pizza, and it was really good. I hadn't made it through my first piece when he set his water down on the edge of his bread plate and it spilled across the table and into my lap. It happened in slooooowwww moootiooooon. I tried to dam the edge of the table with my napkins, at some point he rescued my plate from the flood without me noticing. The waitress was quick to come with extra napkins and a rag. It really wasn't that bad, my knees were a little wet but I was dry by the time we left. He was even sweet enough to offer his dry side of the booth. He returned my plate, we continued with dinner and he had eaten half the pizza by the time I finished 2 pieces and he said the rest was mine. I told him to please eat more if he was hungry because I probably couldn't eat all the leftovers. We had some nice conversation, I opened up to him a little more about my kidney problems and he understood the things I was talking about because his last dog died of kidney failure. I felt kind of bad that I had to dig that up for him, but it was also nice that he didn't seem really freaked out by it and he understood. We both had dessert, apple crisp for me and bread pudding for him, and by the time we left we were the last ones in the restaurant.
The ride home seemed short. When we got back to his house he drove around back to show me the finished barn. The moon was really bright so I could see it pretty clearly, and that thing is huge. 30x96 feet. He stopped by the chicken coop on the way back around the yard, "beware of attack chicken" posted above the door. I saw all his prized tractors lined up neatly on the side of the yard waiting to move into their new home. We rode back around front to my car and we had our first hug. I tried to kiss him on the cheek but I didn't reach high enough and I think I got his neck. He gave me a little peck on the forehead and we called it a night.
We had Date 4 this afternoon, we planned to hike up Soapstone Mtn., which is in the state forest near his house. The rain held off for most of the afternoon so I was really happy about that. I drove to his house again because I would drive by there anyway if we met at parking area for the trail. He was outside when I got there (of course!) and Dolly his border collie ran over to meet me. She was very good and didn't jump up on me, not that I would have minded. We ended up staying there and hiking in the woods behind his house because the trails are pretty busy on Sundays and he lets hunters go on his property and the only day we could go out there is Sunday. And Dolly isn't too keen on other dogs, so we figured she'd be happier off the leash and free to roam. I got to see the work he did digging for the extension of the driveway out back to the new barn. It looked nice in the daylight with everything put away, especially his prized 1959 shiny, green John Deere.
It had warmed up since I was bundled up in a heavy sweatshirt and mittens at the farmer's market in the morning, and I shed my fleece a few minutes into our walk. Good thing I wore layers! Not long after that I could feel the sweat running down my face and neck. This is not attractive! I was able to keep up, but I was always a few paces behind him. There really wasn't room to walk side-by-side because we were not on a trail, just whacking through the brush.
I only had a few clumsy/embarrassing moments aside from the profuse sweating. We climbed over a stone wall, and while trying to keep branches from slapping me in the face, my boot lace got tangled in some barbed wire on the top of the wall. After that, I got my shirt and my hair tangled in some brambles just before crossing a brook. Then I lost my balance and almost fell in while I was crossing the rocks. After that it was pretty smooth sailing.
We eventually ended up on state property, and we sat for a while on top of a dry dam while Dolly went swimming in the stream at the bottom. It was nice to just sit and enjoy the quiet without the sounds of traffic. It was so quiet could hear the cows mooing on his friend's farm down the road. We hiked some more, looped around, and came out on the street around the corner from his house. This is where we met a little white frou-frou dog named Sparky. Sparky was out loose and luckily Dolly was on her leash at that point, because my date had to scoop her up and carry her like a baby to keep her from snacking on Sparky. Dolly only growled a little and Sparky eventually went back to her yard. We stopped at the house he grew up in, which is vacant and for sale. I remember when I was kid that his sister would talk about helping their parents work on their new house on the weekends and after school, like put a new roof on. I didn't realize their old house was right down the road from where they live now (and right around the corner from my date's house). We walked around the yard, he showed me the stump of a tree he had planted as a kid, where they would go sledding, the rock they would play on, where the iris garden used to be. He even pointed out the stump of a cherry tree that his parents used to build the cabinets in the house they live in now.
While we walked around the yard I noticed his sleeve was covered in burrs. I checked myself and I said I was glad I didn't get any caught on me, so he made sure to change that for me and playfully stuck some on my sleeve. At first glance it didn't appear that Dolly had any, but as we got back to the road we noticed she had a few stuck in her long fur. She was pretty good while he picked them off and we continued our walk back to the house.
As we turned the corner onto his road, we saw his mom in the field across the street driving a tractor, hauling a load of wood up to the house. When we got back to the house we sat on a bench by the fire where he had cooked his lunch. He sat down first and the bench toppled over (he went along with it) because it was just a couple of boards on cinder blocks. He was alright, fixed the bench, but I waited for him to try it out first. It held both of us and we sat there for a while and watched Dolly chase the smoke and try to eat it. We saw his grandparents as they were snooping around the new barn, his grandmother commented how nice it looked even though he said the day before she complained about the color of the roof. She also expressed her concern over the lack of doors and the potential for assorted critters making a home in there.
We headed back to the driveway, he put Dolly in the house because he needed to do his weekly grocery shopping. We talked a bit there, hugged, and I walked around the car to leave. But then we continued to talk for another 15 minutes. He showed me where he plans to clear out the rest of the trees over the next few years and have a pasture for some beef cows. I can't get over how he knows exactly what he wants and he knows how he's going to do it. It's kind of amazing.
We didn't talk about getting together again so I hope that's not a bad sign. Hopefully we'll talk tomorrow night and figure something out then!
We went to this little Mexican restaurant that I had never been to before, he goes there pretty frequently and he's friendly with the owner and the waitresses. It was nice to see him interact with other people. From what I remember of him when we were kids, he always seemed quiet and even a little grouchy or angry. Looking back I think he was probably defensive because he was teased a lot about his name, and his family was unusual in comparison with the other kids at school because of the whole farming thing. He's very talkative, funny, and that idea I had of him was completely wrong. The food was very good, and the atmosphere was very different from our first date because we were the only people in the restaurant then. The booth was very small, we bumped knees a few times under the table because he's 6'4" and that's a lot of leg, but it was nice and cozy. He is the fastest eater I have ever met (but a neat eater) and he had cleaned his plate by the time I finished one taco.
It was pretty early for a Saturday night after we finished dessert, so we went to the movies and saw The Social Network. It had the earliest showtime and neither of us was really familiar with what was playing, and Jackass 3D was not an option. I was a little nervous that the movie would have a lot of sex scenes that would make things uncomfortable, but it wasn't too bad. The movie was pretty good, we both laughed, and it was definitely interesting to see how Facebook came to be. And my date isn't even on Facebook, so I'm glad he enjoyed the movie. It was nice spending the extra time together even if we weren't talking.
We headed home after the movie because it was 10:30 and past his bedtime. I was pretty tired by the time we got back to my car, too. We
agreed we both had a good time and we'd plan the next date soon. We talked briefly on the phone last night before bed, and we'll probably talk again tonight to see how the rest of the week looks. He is having a new barn built this week so we'll see how things progress with that and if it creates any obstacles for us getting together this week. Maybe if the weather is nice this weekend and he doesn't have too much to do (harvesting potatoes, chopping wood, filling the new barn) we could go for a hike with his dog. It's getting colder by the day and before we know it it will be winter!
The older brother of one of your childhood friends who lives in the same town as you!
Funny how things work out, isn't it? We made it through the eHarmony guided communication in a week, which I think is really fast. Usually people don't get back to your questions for a few days, but we were responding to each other either the same day or the next morning. One other guy I had been communicating with took 2 weeks to respond to an email, so....yeah. Our first phone conversation was over 2 hours, probably because I confessed that his sister was in my class and we went to the same Catholic school through 8th grade, which brought up a lot of reminiscing on both ends. We talked on the phone for a week before we met for our first date, we met for pizza and I was overly nervous and awkward. I had a really good time, he likes to talk so there were never any long, awkward pauses, I even managed to talk a bit myself. Just a little. Before we headed home he asked if I'd like to go out again and I said yes, even though I'm sure my stiff, nervous body was telling him otherwise. Last week was a little insane with exams and work for me, and he went to the auto show in Hershey last weekend, so we finally scheduled our next date for tomorrow night.
I think "refreshing" is the only word I can think of to describe how this whole thing feels. There's none of the typical dating bullshit going on, and I love it. Last night we had a passionate discussion about Cream of Wheat, so I don't think either of us is pretending to be someone we're not. There is nothing typical about him, his hobbies are farming and restoring antique tractors, and I think that is just so cool. I mean, meeting someone online whose hobbies are not golfing or fantasy football is a rarity. I am pretty boring in comparison, but hopefully he doesn't think so. I guess we'll find out tomorrow night if he asks me for a third date, right?
Needless to say, the ladies in the office were pretty pissed. We contemplated all going to the bar at 11am. It's patriotic, didn't you know? Our office supervisor told me I shouldn't have to punch out for my doctor appointment because none of the guys punched out to watch the game.
As it turns out, other people in the company were pissed when they found out about the private viewing the conference room. So team USA is playing right now, and all the guys are sitting at their individual desks.
Watching the game streaming over the internet and eating up all our bandwidth.
Our office manager was standing in the doorway to my office and said, "Oh, now we can see if Erin's is working." My what? My computer. Apparently my office was the bonus room because we both our lights AND our outlets working. The cubicles had lights but no power, as did the offices on the other side of the building, where they had 2 reams of paper propped againts each other with "CAUTION" written on them in sharpie to mark more extension cords. The AP office had no lights, but their computers worked. The kitchen had lights, and the coffee machine and microwaves worked, but the fridge and the vending machines were dead.
What is going on?
I emailed someone in one of our other buildings to see if they had power issues, and he said the outlet for his computer didn't work, but the other person in his office didn't have a problem. Also, the parts warehouse in their building had no lights. It turns out a couple of the other buildings were having issues, too. Something about a bad power line and the power company had to come out to replace it.
You would think they'd give us a heads-up to let us know when then were starting to work on it, right? So we could make sure our work was backed up in case the power went out?
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
I have probably complained here about how my office doesn't have a window, right? Well, it really sucks to be in said office when the power goes out. We were having a powwow with our CFO at the time, and everyone was like FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK. Pitch black. Hope everyone saved their spreadsheets! Luckily someone from IT had camping lanterns in their truck so they brought us a light, and we continued our meeting in the near-dark. We have so much stuff to do to get the March statements done for next week, and here we are sitting in the dark. We should just go home and come in tomorrow!
Eventually the power came back on, before we broke out the s'mores around our camp lantern. So far it has stayed on, but I'm skeptical. And saving frequently.
I think it is just yet another sign that the world is ending.....earthquakes, mudslides, 8+ inches of rain in one day, flooding, 95 degree weather in APRIL, and the rhododendrons are in full bloom.